Late Saturday night

The best way to sum up last night?  Nightmarish.  Literally, for both Meredith and me.  Her pain got worse and worse as the late evening wore on, until it was actually difficult for her to breathe and she was crying.  They had removed her first IV due to the irritation and swelling, so they had to place a second IV.  They couldn’t get it in and must have dug around under her skin for 30 minutes – with her screaming hysterically the whole time – until they finally got it.  Her pain was so bad she couldn’t get out of bed to use the bathroom and we had to use a bedpan.  It was agonizing for me to see her like that.  When the doctor finally came in (at 11:20 pm or so) he said he would give her morphine (Lars and I had wanted to avoid such a strong drug but at that point I was doing my best Shirley McLain impression – “Give my daughter the drugs!!”) but at the last minute as she fell asleep, he suggested seeing if she could get through the night without it and I agreed.  She slept fitfully, tossing and turning and calling out.  I was so uptight that I didn’t get to sleep until almost 1:00.  She was still in pain this morning, although not as much since the IV steroids were back at work, but I was ready to have a discussion with the doc at morning rounds about pain management. He didn’t show up, and didn’t show up and finally at 1:00, we had the nurses page him for an OK for Motrin – regular over the counter strength, which seemed to help.  Put her at a “5” on the pain scale, according to Meri.  The doctor never did show up today, at least not before I left the hospital at 4:00.I am worried and frustrated.  Part of this is exhaustion I’m sure, but it feels as though we are being passed back and forth with no one doctor really managing her treatment.  Maybe I just don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, but I find myself wishing for some kind of case worker or something.  I know so many others have it worse, but I have to tell you, last night set some kind of new bar for me.  Her face, even when she was sleeping, was just grimacing in pain.  I have very little expectation that she’ll be released tomorrow.  And somewhere in the back of my brain I’m starting to wonder about what kind of medical expenses we are racking up given that today was now day 5 in hospital.  But in the words of a famous survivor, I’ll think about that tomorrow.We did get a wonderful surprise visit today from our friends Kris, John and Corin.  It was great to see them, and they brought some wonderful diversions for Meredith today.  We continue to appreciate your calls and messages and beg forgiveness for not responding individually – there are so many! we are truly loved.. – and hope you understand.I’ll post again with another update later today or tomorrow when we see the M-F doctor. 

5 thoughts on “Late Saturday night

  1. OMG – Liz, I can’t believe this has been going on for you. I didn’t quite understand why you wrote in your email about getting our continuing thoughts and prayers, but now I go. You have got tons of prayers coming at you from Canada. Good vibes, pleasant thoughts and Get Better Really Quick wishes for Meri.

    I only wish I were closer so I could spoil all of you with some home cooking, a few cookies and well, whatever else any of you need. I know it’s a bit ridiculous, but if there is anything I can do from all the way over here, just say the word. Would Meri like a postcard or a letter or something from Canada? If she would, just email me your address and I’ll send something out ASAP. Really, if there is ANYTHING I can do, just say the word.

    Good luck for tomorrow and for a quick recovery.

  2. I’m so sorry for all this. It’s horrible to watch our little ones in so much pain, and feel so helpless. I’ll keep checking the blog and sign up for the feed.

    Big hugs to you and Meri.

  3. Oh Beth! I’m so sorry Meri is in so much pain. I tried to comment the other day, but it got lost in cyberspace. I’ll be thinking of all of you and checking in often. Big hugs for all of you! – Wxwmn (Kristine)

  4. Poor little one! I hope she feels better soon! I can’t imagine going through that whether as a child or as a parent. Let me know if there’s anything Carol or I can do!

  5. I am just heartbroken reading what Meredith and you all have been going through. Please know that you are in our thoughts and if you need anything to please let me know.

Comments are closed.