Begging for morphine

That’s just not something you ever expect your 7 year old to do.  But she was today, by the time we got to the hospital.  It breaks my heart that she even knows what morphine is, much less that she was literally crying for it.  They did give her morphine shortly after our arrival and then a second dose before her ultrasound.  The US lasted for about 75 minutes.  They checked every single organ in her body.  I loved that Meri perked up enough to say “I want to see my heart!” and then she got to see it….all the ventricles pumping away. 🙂  The US tech did the exam and then the radiologist actually came in and spent about 20 minutes looking at her as well.  The good news is that there was no obstruction in her bowel and no intussusception.  The bad news?  There was no obstruction in her bowel and no intussusception.  Lars and I want something we can FIX!

She is going to have an upper GI scope done, possibly tomorrow.  RIght now they want to keep her IV meds going and give her “bowel rest” which means no food.  She doesn’t want any right now, but she will, soon enough.

This is really straining me.  I am worried, tired, frustrated, impatient, distracted and feeling guilty (because she isn’t dying, and so many others have it worse).  Jack is holding up OK, but he is starting to show some strain as well, acting out when we are all together.  I’m worried about Meredith too – she so desperately wants her normal life back.  I can’t believe this has only been going on for 3 weeks.  It feels like 6 months.

If you’d like to visit in the next 1-2 days, we are now at Eggleston, down by the CDC/Emory.  I suggest giving us a call first just to be sure she isn’t doped up on morphine (which leaves her either sleeping or totally out of it) and that she’s not having any procedures done.  But, as always, she loves the visitors.   Thank you all!

7 thoughts on “Begging for morphine

  1. God Liz, Im such a shitty friend. I just found out tonite about all of this.
    Please kiss Meri for me and Calli and Meg. (Alex is with her dad but I know she would want to hug Meri.)
    I love you Liz and Lars and Meri and Jack.
    Please call.
    HUGE hugs to Meri {{{{{HUG}}}}}}

  2. Dearest Lars and Beth,
    I have been reading your updates for about a week or so, and I can’t imagine what you must be going through; if it were my child, I’d be a wreck. I can so relate about the guilt; I feel mega guilty to have a healthy child when I hear of your ordeal. Sorry to have taken this long, but we are going through a bit of a family crisis ourselves. Well, more than a bit, actually. We are currently in Japan; Atsushi’s mother has been diagnosed with gall bladder/bile duct cancer. It’s called cholangiocarcinoma ( for more info. It’s very tough and aggressive; it’s spread to other vital organs. She’s only 59 years old and she doesn’t have along left, perhaps a few months optimistically. So we’re here for the short or long haul and it’s been tough on everyone. we arrived on the 4th. I’ll keep looking out for your emails; just know I’m thinking of you guys all the time, when emotionally I’m allowed… thanks for your support too. Heaps of love, xx dps

  3. Lars and Beth,

    Merilee is keeping us updated about Meredith at UUMAN. I hope that she is diagnosed soon and better. Your family is in our thoughts.

    Mike and Michelle

  4. Oh Beth! I almost burst into tears reading about Meri crying for morphine. Poor baby…

    PLEASE PLEASE don’t feel guilty! My goodness, what for? We moms are so tough on ourselves and slip into guilt so easily but you’ve got enough going on emotionally to beat up on yourself, too!

    Hugs to you and the family. Wish I were local. Sam would love to play with Jack.

  5. Beth, Lars, Meredith and Jack –
    You are in our thoughts and prayers daily. I wish we were closer so that there was something more we could do but pray, but I believe that prayer does help!!
    With God’s love and ours,

  6. Dear Beth and Lars,
    Thank God for your Mom; what a trooper. I know that I would be more of a fifth wheel than a real help, but I am ready to come at any time. We had some tough times with the boys, but they were mostly things that were known and could be fixed. The uncertainty is driving me nuts, too, and I’m not the Mom or Dad. DO NOT feel guilty, but I understand the feeling. I felt that way when Lars was in the hospital with spherocytosis. Bruce’s hospitalization was a tiny bit easier because I had been there before.

    Please give Meri a special hug and kiss from her Grandma. And please give some to Jack and to yourselves.

  7. Beth, Lars

    What can I say? As parents we always want the best and easiest routes for our kids, and somehow, when that doesn’t happen we feel guilty for it. Please, like Posh and a few other people said – although it’s a normal reaction – try not to feel guilty. You are exceptional parents, attentive to both your children’s needs and you cannot blame yourselves for any of this. You have been so “on the ball” with her treatment, and getting her to the hospital when needed – not second guessing yourselves. You are doing an amazing job of keeping it all together.

    Last week, there was a 3 day telethon to raise money for the english language children’s hospital here, and throughout those 3 days, they would have children and parents talk about their experiences with the hospital. The wisdom that came out of the children’s mouths was staggering. Every time I heard such a story, I though of Meri, and of the two of you. Stay strong, love each other and keep praying.

    I am putting together a little “canadiana” box for Meri and Jack which I hope to get out soon.

    God bless all of you.

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